Managing a complicated pregnancy

From my previous posts, it would have been obvious that my pregnancy was far from normal. There were complications right from the beginning. Those were testing times…. However I came out on the other side happy and content.

If you are having a tough time during pregnancy, here I share with you some tips. Really hope these help you. Let me know.

• Acceptance
  • Everyone dreams of a perfect pregnancy. Many times, we aren’t that lucky. Self pity, probably guilt is very natural.
  • Talk to people like me who have been there. You will come to realise that this isn’t your fault. The only thing you can do is to eat healthy, take the pills, follow what the doc says. Beyond that you cannot control anything. You simply have to accept that.
  • Acceptance erases expectations. It helps us move forward into taking actions without staying stuck in an endless destructive emotional loop.
• Don’t force yourself to be positive
  • This is where I differ from all the gurus and life coaches out there. This is from my own experience. Trying to force positivity is still forcing. It takes immense mental energy at a time when physical discomfort is hard to combat. When we fail at being positive, we delve right back into guilt. And the cycle never ends.
  • Acceptance involves submission. That means not thinking. Not about the past or future. Not about the outcome as we have no control. It means taking it one day at a time, doing what you can to the best extent and sleeping peacefully knowing you did your best today.
• Take help
  • I can’t stress this enough. If on bed rest, or when unwell (physically or mentally), take help from anyone who offers. Seek help from anyone who can.
  • DO NOT feel guilty about it. If sick, we see a doctor. Do we feel guilty about it? No! Because it was necessary. Help during pregnancy is necessary. There is no shame in dependency.
• Move
  • If you can, go for walks, exercise safely. Move as much as you can.
  • If on bedrest, check out safe exercises and move your arms and legs.

• Be grateful
  • Of course! There is a tiny human inside us. We have to be thankful for that. For unplanned pregnancies, it may not feel so. But there is no denying life. Be grateful for all the help, attention and love coming your way. A thankful heart seldom finds fault.
• Find a good doctor
  • Do not go to a doctor just because the hospital is near home. Do your research. Ask friends and family. Find a competent doctor who stays calm. This is very important for us to remain confident.
• Give google a break
  • Do not keep reading, searching. We are curious and concerned. We need information. But during complications, quest for information quickly becomes an obsession. Read and inform yourself and then STOP. This is very hard…. put a timer, give your phone to your partner, get a feature phone. Do anything that you can think of to avoid getting into the cycle of googling and panicking over and over.
• Feed distractions
  • This is especially true if on bedrest. Feed your hobby as much as possible. Be it music or embroidery or reading. Do what you like without the guilt. It will help keep your mind off physical discomfort and mental distress.
• Play with friends and family
  • This is very important. Play any board or card game. This keeps your mind distracted, is pure fun, strengthens relationships and is cheap. Play whenever you get an opportunity.
• Ditch negative reads
  • Be it news, or a novel, the last thing you need is someone else’s troubles. Read happy endings, positive news.
• Connect with nature
  • Shift your bed to a place where you can see the sky or a plant or a bird, anything that relaxes you. If you can move, try to visit gardens. Be present and allow nature to calm and heal you.
• Find solace in your God
  • This may not be applicable to everyone and hence last on my list. By no means is this the least. If you are a believer, pray. Talk to Him, give Him your troubles. Submit yourself to His will and seek peace.

If you are curious as to what complications I faced to be qualified(?) enough, here is a list. Feel free to skip!

How pregnancy treated me

1. Nausea, heartburn, vomiting almost from first day.
2. Gestational diabetes from week 6 – strict controlled diet till 36 weeks, insulin injection till delivery.
3. Blood in uterus at 6 weeks – bed rest for 2 weeks
4. Bleeding at 10 weeks and at 13 weeks – bed rest for 1 month
5. Premature contractions at 22 weeks – cervical stitch operation and bed rest till delivery
6. More water than normal – raising risk of premature delivery. This is called polyhydramnios.
7. Placenta was attached to front wall of uterus making it harder to note movements. This is called anterior placenta.