What do you want from your children? I believe this one question defines your parenting style.
Some of the answers that I can think of.
- Just love. I don’t want money or shelter or anything. They can be who they want, do what they want. I just want them to be happy.
- I wish they would take care of me in old age. Talk to me, enquire about me keep me company when I need it.
- To lead the life that I didn’t.
- For them to be successful, have a good standing in society, marry in a respectful family.
- Just be honest, God fearing and lead a life of morals.
I am sure there are many more answers.
Can there be a right answer to this question?
It depends on you! What is right for you.
For me, the acceptance parenting way, the answer to the question is – NOTHING. I want them to be whoever they become.
Because what they become is beyond my control as it is the outcome of a process. What is in my control is the process alone.
Acting on this thought takes tremendous effort. Our expectations, aspirations, philosophies, needs, values all seep in daily with the children without us even realizing it. These shape our parenting.
So the question now changes to what type of a parent do you want to be? Cos that’s what really matters.
As an accepting parent, I try my best to stay cautious and look at how anything might influence the baby – words, deeds, body language. I am still learning my way to consciously and consistently love them, communicate with them, set acceptable boundaries, guide on morals, expose them safely to the world as much as I can.
What type of parent do you want to be? Let’s talk about that!